Sunday, February 26, 2006
|I think it's also a time for us to stand up and cheer for the doer, the achiever, one who recognizes a problem and does something about it, one who looks for something extra to do for his country--the winner, the leader.|
The Beer Prayer...
Our Lager, Which Art In Barrels,
Hallowed Be Thy Drink,
Thy Will Be Drunk, I Will Be Drunk,
At Home As I Am In The Tavern.
Give Us This Day, Our Foamy Head,
And Forgive Us Our Spillages,
As We Forgive Those, Who Spill Against Us,
And Lead Us Not To Incarceration,
But Deliver Us From Hangovers,
For Thine Is The Beer,
The Bitter And The Lager,
Forever And Ever,
Two Married Guys...
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, 'Lets do it!'
...and she's always sound asleep.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Ironwood Daily Globe
Albert Lea Evening Tribune
Ironwood Daily Globe
The Danville Bee
Wisconsin Rapids Daily Tribune
Port Arthur News
Van Wert Daily Bulletin
Thursday, February 23, 2006
|A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.|
"Dick had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."
"You left Dick laying out there and carried the deer back!?"
"A tough call," nodded the hunter "but I figured that no one is going to steal Dick."
Monday, February 20, 2006
Lincoln State Journal
Stevens Point Daily Journal
Wisconsin Rapids Daily Tribune
Billy the Packer Fan...In a school just outside Minneapolis, a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Vikings Fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they are Vikings fans too. Not really knowing what a Vikings fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all fly into the air. However, there is one exception. A little boy named Billy has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different. "Because I am not a Vikings fan." says Billy. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" Billy says "I am a proud Green Bay Packers fan!"
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Billy why he is a Packers fan. "Well, my Mom and Dad are Packers fans so I'm a Packers fan, too," Billy responds.
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot?
Billy smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Vikings Fan."
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Wisconsin Rapids Daily Tribune
|A bartender in Wisconsin is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant Viking fans. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more Viking fans arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows."51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more Viking fans show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth Viking fan comes in with a picture under his arm. He walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts.|
|Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed children's puzzle of Ragnar, the Vikings Mascot. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the Viking fans, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?" The fan who brought in the picture pipes in, "'Cuz we've never won a SuperBowl, everyone thinks that Viking fans are dumb-asses and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together.|
Olympic...A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand: "Olympic Condoms." Impressed, he buys a pack.
Upon arriving home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?" she blurts. "What makes them so special?"
"They're in three colors," he replies, "gold, silver, and bronze."
"What color are you planning on wearing tonight?" she asks cheekily.
"Why, gold, of course," says the man proudly.
"Really?" she responds. "Why don't you wear the silver tonight? It'd be nice if you came second for a change."
Respect For The...A man and his friend were enjoying Deer Hunting Season in rural Wisconsin near a blacktop highway.
A huge buck walked by and the hunter carefully drew his bow and took careful aim.
Before he could release his arrow, his friend pointed at a funeral procession passing on the road below their stand. The hunter slowly let off the pressure on his bow, took off his hat, bowed his head and closed his eyes in prayer.
His friend was amazed. "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are the kindest man I have ever known."
The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."
You Don't Tug...Tom Brady and Brett Favre were standing on the roof of a building drinking a few beers on their break and Brett said, "Hey Tom, did you know that if you jump off this building, after you get down so far, a draft will pull you back inside the building on the third floor?"
"Get outta here," said Tom.
"No I'm serious, watch me."
Brett hopped off the building and sure enough, he was taken in by the draft at the third floor window. He took the elevator back to the top and Tom and a security guard that arrived were standing there, Tom in awe.
"I can't believe it." Said Tom.
"I know you should try it Tom."
So Tom hopped off and plunged into the ground.
"Superman you're an asshole when you're drunk." said the security guard.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
|Yah Hey Der!!! I'd had forgotten that the "What'zup" Budweiser Commercial's had spoofed themselves by using our very own beautiful northern midwestern accents, and the funny poem from Paul Gilmartin, Tim the Diehard Packer Fan, our thanks to Das. Wolf for revealing once again these treasures for all of us to enjoy. |
In regards to "is it me or does espn hate the packers", ESPN isn't any different than all of the rest of the national NFL audience, they're tired of all the Cheesehead Schtick that's beening going on for over 10 years and they all enjoy kicking us over and over when we're already down. No big deal...
BeerKid - Still Pack 4 Life!
My bro from Oshkosh hooked me up with this and I love listening to it. Maybe you will too. Have a good one down there at the Packer Palace.
Here's the link to the poem and a pretty good vid: http://darthvander.com/WI/WI.htm
"Ya Hey Der"
Paul Gilmartin's Epic Poem.
Tim, The Diehard Packer Fan
|It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.|
Friday, February 10, 2006
|Well it's that deadzone time of the year where the last football fix of the season is the Pro Bowl and the next is a long way away when the NFL Draft happens in late April. Not much happening, so to quote the immortal words of Lemondrop, "whats going on? Its like that movie Groundhogs Day in here. Peek in ..same day Next day - peek in - still same day Spooky Twilight Zone-y kinda thing." we're left trying to determine what we know and what we don't know and if we don't know what we don't know, do we then know what we do know? Well,|
Things we know:
Things we don't know:
BeerKid - Still Pack 4 Life!
Hey, Regarding next season, has anyone else noticed the exceptionally weak schedule we'll draw? Non-division opponents come from the AFC East and NFC West, probably two of the weakest divisions in football. Nine games against teams 6-10 or worse this season. Even one of our toughest draws, New England, we have at home (not sure if that's an advantage for us any more, but hey). We play Seattle on the road, but, perversely, I feel that's to our advantage, because then we don't waste a home date on probably our most unwinnable game.
It would be a minor miracle for us ~not~ to win eight games next year, right? And who's to say 10 wins is out of the realm of possibility? Now, if that stands us better than third in our division, I cannot say...
Jeff in Rochester, Minn. (transplanted Sussex native)
BRETT FAVRE WILL RETURN!!
Think about this if Brett Returns he has a chance to brake all of Marino's records and Elways record for most wins making him the most prolific passer of all times. He also gets 10 million dollars. Those two things weigh heavy on a man even of Favre's moral caliber. Favre will return, the recievers are good, the line is solid, the D- line will improve with mario williams in the draft, the linebacking core needs a playmaker, and the secondary will continue to improve.
The only real question mark for the Packers is who is going to run the ball? Samkon, Ahman, Najeh, or if Ted Thompson really screws up LendAle White. I say keep Samkon and Najeh. Try to sign Adrian Peterson in the off season. The packers can easily fo 10-6 and atleast send Favre off as a playoff qb.
Hey BeerKid, I'm impressed with you and your readers' knowledge and info. My concession to J.W.'s answer would be for the Favre farewell tour... and the networks would like that too, I'm sure. Two bad years in a row could affect the mentality of the team for a few years. And you could schedule in some playing time for Rodgers next year. I think the Favre era is done and it's time to build a new core, though. I think they should have came a way with more from it too. The first part of it they suffered from left tackle problems w/Brown, Wahle, Michels and the second half of the Favre era was doomed from drafting Reynolds, failed F/A replacement (name?) the bust from the Saints, and cap/personnel problems resulting from the Reynolds pick. If the Packers could have gotten the Cowboys at Lambeau a few more times, it might have been the Pack dynasty of the 90's instead. Had Reynold's panned out, they might have had enough defense in the last few years to have gotten them to the SB once or twice.
Draftwise, the SB teams this year seemed to boast linebackers and safeties. A few years ago it seemed to be DEs and corners all the rage. I think Thompson has to pick Mario. It gets much harder to find DE's in later rounds than LB's. I don't think you could loose w/Hawk either and that would give them a nice line of defense if you can pluck another very good LB in round 2... probably dominating. DO NOT PICK THE RB!!! Might be a smoke screen...though at #5, you shouldn't need much of one. Pick one...DE, pick two...LB, pick three...OL(guard), the rest...? NOTE: I thought Hasselback looked just like Favre when he was with Holmgren, except Hasselback wasn't throwing the ball 10 feet over the receivers heads for the first couple series of the game.
Long live the Pack!!!
Glad to see the Steelers won. I hope Holmgren goes to three more Superbowls - and loses them all.
And a joke from ChilWil:
A woman was arrested for shoplifting. When she went before the judge, he asked her, "What did you steal?"
She replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "6."
The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up, and asked the judge if he could say something.
He asked, " What is it? "
The husband said "She also stole a can of peas."
|A game that requires the constant conjuring of animosity.|
|Some pretty funny satire from Iowahawk|
|Go check out Iowahawk's whole article... Seething Midwest Explodes Over Lombardi Cartoons.|
Just In case you've missed the whole world-wide brouhaha over the Mohammed cartoons that a Danish Newspaper published - See Michelle Malkin for the original 12 cartoons and you'll see how benign they really were and then for a comparison, go check-out The Amazing Retecool's Foto F**k Vrijdag for many new spoof's. Warning! The pages take forever to load (even on DSL) and some images may not be worksafe, but most are really good.
Support The Danes!
...and you'll be supporting Free Speech for all of us.
Monday, February 06, 2006
|You can see the consensus is narrowing down to the Packers taking either Mario Williams, the junior defensive end out of North Carolina State or A.J. Hawk the outside linebacker from the Ohio State University. Either choice would be satisfactory. One thing interesting is a speculated trade down to #12 to take the DE Mathias Kiwanuka, out of Boston College. You know General Manager Ted Thompson likes to trade down for more draft picks, last year he added 4 picks on 3 trades, but I'd be careful about dropping down in the 1st round with that #5 pick to maybe go for RB LenDale White. You take whichever stud is on the board at #5, with the current Packers roster, except for offensive tackles, it will be an automatic upgrade for those positions. Play it right, Ted...|
You know I just realized that Nick Collins, our current starting Safety, was the 2nd round draft pick from the Mike McKenzie trade to New Orleans back in 2004. Collins may have been nice return for the Packers on that whole manufactured fiasco, which if you remember included promoting Bob Slowik to D-Coordinator. It just irks us still to this day that QB J.T. O'Sullivan was part of that trade. You might have well as just taken a 6th round draft pick instead.
BeerKid - Still Pack 4 Life!
12. Mathias Kiwanuka, DE, Boston College (projected trade with Cleveland Browns-Packers get picks #12 and #44 and S Sean Jones)
Akhhorus - Hail Redskins
5. Mario Williams DE, NC State AJ Hawk could get some consideration here, but the Packers could surely use someone to generate some pass rush opposite KGB. Keep in mind that LBs rarely go this high in the draft. Williams' stock might rise high enough to get him in the top 5, as the top DE, especially after D'Brick dominated Boston College's Kiwi during Senior Bowl practices. Williams appears to be the most complete DE in the draft. Needs: RB, OL, DL, LB, S
Paul Baitinger - Ask The Commish
5. A.J. Hawk, Outside Linebacker, Ohio St. They would rather have Reggie Bush, and may get him, but the 49'ers have many needs on the defensive side of the ball. A.J. Hawk may be the best defensive player in this draft and is a definite playmaker who is always near the football.
The Sports Outlaw
5. LenDale White, RB USC Hearing Mike McCarthy talk about what he has planned for this offense, he's got his head set on drafting LenDale White with this pick. He wants to run a smashmouth offense that's quarterback friendly and relies on the run to setup the pass. With Ahman Green and Najeh Davenport hitting the free agent market, and both having durability concerns, expect the Pack to fill the hole at RB with this pick.
M.L. Brandow - Sports Outlaw
5. Mario Williams, DE, North Carolina State We've flipped flopped on this pick again. A.J. Hawk would be a nice pick for the Packers, but we don't think you can pass up a stud DE like Williams. The Pack has gotten good play out of Aaron Kapman, but he's about as good as he is gonna be. Williams and Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila will give the Packers a very intimidating set of defensive ends.
5. A.J. Hawk, OLB, Ohio St The Packers defense needs upgrades all over. Hawk will pair with Barnett to give them two good linebackers.
900 Football Links
5. Mario Williams, DE, North Carolina State The Green Bay defense was putrid last year, and the complete lack of pass rush shouldered a large share of the blame. In Williams they are drafting a physical freak with the ability to dominate coming off the edge against any blocker. Super Mario will soon become a fan favorite for the Cheeseheads in Wisconsin.
DraftX.Com Mock Draft IV
5. A.J. Hawk, OLB, Ohio State The Packers need another playmaker on their defense and someone who can get sideline to sideline to make plays. AJ Hawk fills that role with his great speed and instincts and should work well in the GB system. They need a Force on the defense and with Hawk u get that and more.
DraftX.Com Mock Draft III
5. Mario Williams, DE, North Carolina St This is the best situation the Packers have in all season. It's a win/win situation. Williams or Hawk. I think there's a bigger need at DE and a pass rushing DE like Williams is harder to find than a great OLB like Hawk.
37. Bobby Carpenter, OLB, Ohio St. The Packers pass on Hawk and end up with his college teammate. Carpenter is big and takes on blocks very well. He's a run stuffing LB and has some pass coverage skills. This will do much to improving GB's run defense which is their most pressing need.
Jonathan Hull - Fantasy Football Jungle
5. “Super” Mario Williams, DE, N. Carolina St. The Pack sucked just as I predicted and earned themselves the 5th selection and use it wisely on Super Mario.
37. D’Qwell Jackson, LB, Maryland
Masked Lupagus - Draft Season
5. A.J. Hawk, LB, Ohio State Almost a flawless prospect. Completely shut down the opposing team’s running game consistently in college. Has amazing athleticism and instincts you wouldn’t believe. A sure-fire impact player for any defense.
Brian Diez - Lionbacker.Com
5. Mario Williams, DE, North Carolina St. After workouts he should solidfy himself as the top defensive player in the draft.
Robert Davis - Footballs Future
5. AJ Hawk, LB, Ohio State Best defensive player on the board. Hawk is a beast! Only other possibility is Mario Williams.
Michael Abromowitz - The Football Expert
5. Mario Williams, DE, 6-7,285, N.C. State The Packers need to generate more pass rush, and this kid has the whole package that you look for in a difference-making defensive end.
Don Banks - CNNSI
5. Mario Williams, DE, NC State Green Bay is in a rebuilding phase. With Rodgers, Driver and even Gado, who had a nice rookie year, the Pack is ok for offense right now. They need help on defense, and Williams is a monster. Williams and KGB will give opposing quarterbacks nightmare with their pass rush.
Brett Martinez - NFL Draft Blitz
5. Mario Williams, DE, NC State Green Bay's defense remains a big problem, and whoever takes over for the recently departed Mike Sherman will want to address the D immediately. Williams is a tenacious D lineman with phenomenal athleticism for his 6-5, 280-lbs size. He’s coming off a Junior campaign in which he led the ACC in sacks.
5. Mario Williams, DE, North Carolina State It was a very disappointing season for the Cheeseheads due in large part to injuries and free agent defections but things could be looking up, especially if they are able to add an impact player like Mario Williams to their roster. The Green Bay defense actually overachieved in 2005 and did much better than they probably should have with the talent they had to work with but you don't win the Kentucky Derby riding a donkey and this team simply doesn't have the horses on defense that they need to compete. Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila is solid on one side but Aaron Kampman is a free agent and he is only average at best so to bring in a potential star like Mario Williams would make a lot of sense. Physically Williams has everything you look for in a premier defensive end and he might very well be the best prospect to come along at the position since Julius Peppers. He is still a little inconsistent but when his motor is running he can be unblockable and a true difference maker on the defensive side of the ball. Their other major concern is linebacker, where they could be looking for two new starters outside so it could prove awfully tempting to bring in a guy like A.J. Hawk to take over one spot and become the leader of that young defense. In the end Williams is the top talent left on the board and they simply can't pass on an elite prospect who one day could rank amongst the best pro players at his position.
36. Thomas Howard, LB, UTEP This team might be looking for two new outside linebackers so this is a great fit for them.
Scott Wright - NFL Draft Countdown
5. Mario Williams, DE, NC State The 2005 season couldn't of ended quick enough for Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers. It seems that Brett has retired as a Packer, which means we will get to see how good Aaron Rodgers is next season. The packers need help on their defensive line and Williams can provide the ferocity that they have been lacking since Reggie White was there.
5. LenDale White, RB, USC It's already leaked that the Packers have a "man crush" on White, and probably for good reason. He along with a healthy Ahman Green, would be a great tandem.
Curtis Popejoy - DraftBoardInsider.Com
5. Mario Williams, DE, NC State With both DE Aaron Kampman and DT Grady Jackson UFA's the Pack need to bolster an otherwise lackluster d-line. Williams (6-6, 280) is a fearsome pass rusher with outstanding size and speed. He'll need some fine-tuning at the pro level, but has all the skills to be a dominating player.
5. A.J. Hawk, OLB, Ohio State A.J. Hawk shows a great display of being a physical specimen on the field, he is 6'1" 240lbs and his closing speed is so outrageously fast it's scary. He is the solid number one linebacker in this draft, and will take a lot to unseat him. The Packers have struggled on defense this past year, especially at with the linebacking corps, Na'll Diggs had a terrible year, but aside from that fact the Packers could really use a defensive end also, it's neck and neck with Hawk and Mario Williams for this pick.
37. Darnell Bing, SS, Southern Cal
69. Mark Anderson, DE, Alabama
|Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.|
Sunday, February 05, 2006
|I just wanted to reply to that guy that said that new coaches with new coordinators means that Favre needs to come back at least 2 years, and that the Packers don't have a chance to make the playoffs or challenge for the Super Bowl. Favre could come back one more year, and the Packers could challenge for the title. |
The changing of head coaches and coordinators has actually led teams to the Super Bowl. Super Bowl 5, 12, 20, 24, and 37 are examples of this (oh yeah both teams in Super Bowl 37 changed head coaches). Some of those coaches names were Jon Gruden, Bill Callahan, George Seifert, and Dan McCafferty (replaced Don Shula in Baltimore). Since the Super Bowl Era began there has been 47 first year coaches out of 243 changes to win 10 plus games or lead their new team to the playoffs. And remember the NFL only had a 14 game schedule until the 1978 season, and there was 2 strikes (1982 and 1987).
Yes I know that 243 changes are a lot, but remember their is 32 teams, and some have idiot owners, like Daniel Snyder in Washington that changes his head coaches as often as his underwear. Don't count the Packers out for next season quite yet.
J.W. - Oak Creek, WI
Here's a list of the Packers 1st year head coaches records in the NFL for you:
|Mike Sherman |
Notice there's no playoff appearances on that list. Vince Lombardi's 1st year still stands out as the best. It's going to take 10 wins for the Packers to make the playoffs next year and that would be a new team high for wins by a rookie coach. If Mike McCarthy can pull that off it will turn out to be an even better 1st year than Lombardi's. A small mountain for McCarthy and the Packers to climb but hey, I'm expecting it from the new Coach, that's why Brett has to come back, our chances improve tremendously with him playing QB for the team.
BeerKid - Still Pack 4 Life!
* Curly Lambeau was 10-1 in 1919 the Packers 1st official season as a club team before joining the NFL in 1921
Saturday, February 04, 2006
|Some of you people are fat. You're fat in the head and fat in the body. That $25,000 you all made for winning the Super Bowl made you all fatheaded.|