Let's hear it for football referees!  Those charming middle aged lawyers and bankers who take time out of their busy money making schedules to chase around huge men and, with the aid of diminutive patches of yellow fabric, control a few hours of semi-organized violence.  Every Packer fan in the world should seek out a football official to give him a hug or buy him a drink this week, because twice in two weeks the Packers have had their feet to the fire only to have one of the zebras help out a good bit.  This week it was a return gaffe by Robert Ferguson, whose fumble sure looked like a guy in purple got it, but the officials ruled it Packer ball thanks to "let me get my roster sheet again" tight end Ben Steele. But just as James Thrash's stutter step last week doesn't really matter, a win is a win and the Packers got another one.  This week, we take another look at the Vikings game, check in to see who is heading from the on deck circle to the batter's box, and prattle on about a few other things.  Go Packers!

Nick One From the Norsemen

How happy were the Packers' defensive backs to see Randy Moss glowering from the sideline in street clothes?  Considering what Nate Burleson did to the secondary, I'd say they were quite happy indeed.  If Burleson could run up, over, through, and around the Packers defense like he did, think what Randy would have done.  Not that Burleson is a slouch, he's had good games earlier in the year and with Moss out it makes sense other guys will get some balls.  Still, Nate isn't exactly TO or Plaxico Burress.  Which brings us to the first real question of the week, brought up by the Vikings game--can the Packer secondary get it together by January?  Right now teams simply aren't throwing at Al Harris.  Partly this is because he's good, but I'd guess it's at least as much a function of the opposing offense thinking they can beat or confuse the other corners. Harris isn't exactly Champ Bailey, so one has to wonder if opposing coaches tell their quarterbacks, look for whoever is covered by 28, 27, 24, and 21, and throw that way, or if the second read is to where Harris is, skip it.

On offense, the Packers continue to click.  For the third week in a row Mr. Walker and I saw the kind of playing we expected all year.  Ahman Green averaged a lovely 6.9 yards per carry and snapped of a 35 yarder that will go on this year's highlight reel.  Javon Walker snatched one out of the hands of two Vikings defenders and juked his way to a score on a pass that could have gone for an interception.  With about three minutes to go the Packers were up two touchdowns at 31-17 and it looked like the only drama would be how soon Craig Nall would come in to start taking a knee.  However, the Packer defense did a near hari kari number to let the Vikings back into it. Nevertheless, a win is a win and the Packers came back to get this one.  Mr. Walker and I will be discussing the gang that can't shoot straight fourth quarter performance in a bit.

However, before that, it's worthwhile to note a few fine individual performances by the Packers in the win over Minnesota.  Tony Fisher continues to play like a guy who should have been drafted in the fourth round instead of a guy who was lucky to get invited to camp.  While Sherman may have whiffed on Joe Johnson and a few other players, he's struck gold with a couple of guys like Fisher.  Bhawoh Jue played another solid game, leading the team with nine tackles and not screwing up obviously enough that Mr. Walker or I noticed it.  Street signee Cullen Jenkins posted a sack while playing defensive tackle, which is always a good thing.  So once more with feeling, a win is a win.  Next time they'll have Randy Moss back, and the Packers damn well better play better than this on defense if they want to win that one.

Furious Favre

By and large, Favre has always been the personification of a team player.  He's never been a guy to yell at his receivers or linemen, even if they really screw up.  He's clearly decided, probably quite correctly, that it's better for him if he delivers good news while the coaches bust chops when people make mistakes.  That said, this week Fox found a fair number of moments where it was painfully obvious that Favre was saying to himself, "sweet Jesus, I can't COVER the other guys too.  Could someone freaking do something to slow them down?" This was most evident when Bowaoh Jue missed an easy pick in the fourth quarter that would have iced the game, and Favre was about as demonstrative in a negative way as we've ever seen him be.

Speaking of Favre, as I always do in these columns, I think some people are going a bit over the top regarding him.  I'm not as big a Favre fan as the next guy, I'm a bigger one.  But to use an example, Peter King in his Monday Morning Quarterback piece this week wrote the lead section about Favre.  It was not the most maudlin piece on him, but it was close.  The title of page talks about how Favre survives the “tragedies" he has suffered recently.  It's an example of unfortunate linguistic inflation that these events are called tragedies.  They're not, they're just very sad and painful, while a tragedy is a story about a hero who because of a critical fault or faults comes to ruin.  Stories like the King piece aren't journalism or even biography, they are hagiography.  Now there's a word I absolutely promise you'll never read in another sports column, because in general sports writers possess neither dictionaries, nor thesauruses, nor faith in the ability of their readers to read.  A hagiography in the strict sense is an adulatory biography of a saint, but in a more general sense means and idolizing, uncritical biography.  This is not a broadside on Peter King, he's a working writer (as I have been a few times in my life) and a good one.  The factual content of his work is better than almost all sports writing out there, and I understand that sometimes a deadline rolls around and ya gotta pull 850 words out of your ass.

All that said, at a deeper level, expressing amazement at Favre managing to deal with drug addiction, the death of his father, and other family problems is demeaning.  Millions of people every year have loved ones die, deal with drug addiction, and have other awful things happen to themselves and those they care about.  By and large what they do in response is get up and go to work the next day, because bad things or not everyone has to pay the bills.  Favre deals with these same things, but with the extraordinary advantages that fame and vast fortune provide him. This doesn't make his suffering any less real, but it also doesn't make it any more real.  I've had friends die by the needle, seen gentle souls turned into pimps and hookers, and watched as the death of a loved one ruined years of a friend's life.  If Favre's example gives some people perspective as they confront unpleasant experiences in their lives, that's a great thing, but acting like it's transcendental that he gets up and goes to work despite the kind of problems that millions of other people get up and go to work with every day is simply wrong.  Let's appreciate Favre for what he is--an athlete with a bounty of rare genetic gifts, a nearly pathological need to win, a formidable work ethic, and a personality brimming with an elusive quality called charm.  That's more than enough from one man, no hagiography needed.

Houston, You Have a Problem

Next up for the boys in green and gold are the Houston Texans, former expansion doormat and now a team that has been a bit of a surprise in the AFC South.  Last week they were torched by the Colts 49-14, but this year losing to the Colts by 35 is not exactly a shameful showing.  The Texans so far this year have been schizophrenic--losing to Detroit and Denver while winning against Tennessee, Kansas City, and Jacksonville.  Then again, here are two stats to consider; the Texans are ranked 26th in the NFL in total yards allowed and 26th in points allowed.  In the points allowed category they are giving up on average 24.8 points to opposing teams, and this from a team coached by supposed defensive genius Dom Capers.  Also, the Packers are only ranked a bit better, they are 22nd in the league in both categories, but despite the early season meltdown they are still ahead of the Texans in both of those critical stats.  Speaking of points per game average, the Packers are averaging nearly a touchdown more points per game on offense (26.7) than the Texans (20.6).

All of that said, why is this still a game that worries both me and Mr. Walker?  I guess it's a couple of reasons.  First, it's a road game.  Second, the Packers over the past few years have shown a real problem dealing with prosperity, and right now they're on a four game winning streak.  The Rams are playing at Green Bay the following week, so the Packers might be looking ahead to a home game that might still be personal for a few players.  Lastly, the Texans are one of a few teams who play three down linemen in their base defense, and this is the first 3-4 team the Packers have seen in a long time.

On the individual matchups front, Packer fans will be treated to a glimpse at a truly rare emerging talent in the NFL.  A few weeks back we mentioned Andre Johnson, second year wide receiver from Miami, in this very column.  He's such a good player that we've been peeking at Texans games on occasion since then (thanks Sunday Ticket!) when we have the chance.  The best comparison Mr. Walker and I have come up with is that he's is a young Michael Irvin but a little bigger and faster, and no apparent cocaine problem.  If Johnson played on the Giants or the Patriots, we'd probably hear about him every week on Sportscenter, but he plays in Houston so the ink does not flow quite so generously.  Even in his second year he's an automatic matchup problem, so watch how Al Harris does chasing him around the field on Sunday evening.  Next up would be left offensive tackle Seth Wand vs.  KGB.  Wand is not a bad player by any stretch, but Dwight Freeney, a smallish speed rusher, made him look as mobile as a redwood last week.  KGB appears to be getting hot, with the help of more push up the middle from the interior defensive linemen, so it could be a long day for the left side of the Texans offensive line.  Finally, the Packers have been courting disaster on turnover margin.  This is well documented in the mainstream Packer press, but one of these days Green Bay is going to get a bunch in a row. They aren't playing awful defense, they're just missing close chances for turnovers.  All of that noted, this game will come down to one thing we think--the Packers can score way too many points for the Texans to keep up.  We're calling this one 30-21 Packers.

Random thoughts

I still think the Steelers are playing better than anyone in the NFL, including the Patriots.  The Pats beat a Bills squad that's almost hard to watch they're so bad, while the Steelers (who, lest we forget, handed the Pats their booties a few weeks ago) slapped around a Browns team that is more competitive than their record would suggest.  I also caught video of the fight between William Green and Jerry Porter.  At least football players really fight.  As a long time New York Knicks fan, I remember the famous fight in which Jeff Van Gundy wound up wrapped around Alonzo Mourning's leg.  However, what I always remembered was saying "hey, Zo's 6-11 and weights 260 pounds, but he hits like a girl." Football players are a different breed--Porter and Green looked like a couple of guys I'd rather not tangle with. The Jacksonville Jaguars are 6-3, despite the fact that so far this season their opponents have outscored them 163-151.  Can't last, folks.

Outside of football season, I simply don't watch television--my home theater becomes a theater again and is only used for movies.  So my contact with the world of advertising and major capitalism is largely confined to football season.  This year's stupidest campaign by far is the Burger King chicken battle routine.  Dumb add, and it's played all of the time.  It also includes one of my "sad actor" moments.  That's a situation where a superior character actor that gave a particularly memorable performance in a movie I really like shows up hawking something like chicken strips.  The best example of this is Bob Stephenson, who put in a short but fabulous stint as an airport security guard in Fight Club.  Stephenson shows up in everything from Avis to UPS adds these days.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's sad to see such a talented guy doing what is by any standards lesser work, while zero talent pretty boys get all of the big money gigs.  The chicken crisp campaign includes one Michael Parks, who says some one liner in Spanish.  This is the same guy who has given great performances in bad movies like From Dusk til Dawn, but also did a true genius turn in Kill Bill vol.  2 as Mexican pimp Esteban Vihaio.  Well, we all gotsa get paid I guess.

ESPN's Tom Jackson is far and away the best NFL talking head in the world.  Nobody else is close.

Yes, the NFC is all clogged up with 5-4 and 4-5 teams, but not all such teams are created equal. The Lions and Bears, for example, are living off of lucky special teams bounces and defensive scores.  For example, the Bears won this week, 19-17 vs.  the Titans.  However, they were outgained 390-176 in total yards, averaged 2.3 yards per pass attempt (!), nine of their points were scored by the defense, and both teams had three turnovers.  That, sports fans, is not a long term recipe for success.

I still can't believe the rumpus about the MNF football segment with the chick in a towel.  I'm sufficiently absent from the world of episodic TV that I didn't even know they were pimping another ABC show, but it was simply NOT offensive.  One of the great American myths is that our pop culture creates all of the deviant behavior in our country.  I lived in Europe for a year, and television in Europe has more sex and violence than most R rated movies in the US.  For real, after about 9.00 PM pretty much anything goes, and Europeans are much less prone to violence than Americans.  In Japan, the worn panties of young girls can be purchased in vending machines.  The Japanese have one of the lowest violent crime rates in the world, and they return lost jewelry and cash intact to the owner.  Americans are violent weirdos because we're violent weirdos.  Always have been and always will be, and it has not a thing to do with Janet Jackson or Howard Stern.

As I send this in, Tony Dungy has said that the TO-bimbo spot before MNF was racially insensitive.  Mr. Walker and I are BIG Tony Dungy fans, there isn't a classier guy in the league and when he coached the Bucs he went out to avoid race baiting.  He made legitimate criticisms that in a league where so many of the players are black, there seem to be far too few black coaches and front office officials.  While doing so, he never tried to leverage his own race to his advantage.  Big up to Tony Dungy, I root for the Colts whenever they aren't playing the Packers. In light of his previously level headed approach to such issues, though, I was sincerely surprised to hear that from him.  If a black actress has dropped her towel for TO, I would imagine that the response would be “well, it's racially insensitive because they couldn't let a white woman do that to TO on national television." Settle down everyone, a hot girl dropped a towel and we could see her back, the world isn't coming to an end.

TCB is a contributing writer for Packer Palace.
© November 19, 2004.

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